House Rules
by writetherest
Summary: "I assume," Emma says, dunking the first ball in one of her beers and then rolling it between her fingers, "that we're playing house rules?" Killian's eyes cut down to where Regina is still sitting, stewing, and he laughs. "Oh I'd say so, love."


**Author's Note:** Written for Swan Queen Week Winter 2015 - Day 1 - Meet Cute AU. There's a bit of language, drinking/beer pong playing, and sexual innuendos, as we're dealing with frat boys here. Thanks as ever to Lola for the beta and to Libby for hosting Swan Queen Week and actually making me write again. Enjoy!

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"Troll! Troll! Troll! Troll!"

Emma's just barely made it into the party, pushing through the usual gaggle of frat boys hanging at the front of the house, moving at exactly the right time to miss their groping hands, when the chant starts, coming in loud from where the beer pong table is located in the back room.

She rolls her eyes, but doesn't stop her trajectory, grabbing a beer from the hand of one of the new pledges, wondering idly what poor sucker it is that has already managed to be crowned troll of the Pleasure Island beer pong table. The party is just getting started, after all.

If she were a betting woman – and let's face it, she usually is – she'd put her money on Archie Hopper. The sweet but dorky freshman had been branded a troll the weekend before and Emma figures he's tried his luck again, only to end up under the table again.

So it comes as a surprise when the table finally comes into view and it's not Archie under it, but instead a girl in a pencil skirt, heels, and pearls, wearing an expression that is a strange combination of humiliation and fury. On the winning side of the table, Killian Jones is high fiving his partner Smee and laughing, while on the losing side, Robin Locksley also seems to be getting a good laugh out of his partner's status.

Something prickles under Emma's skin. "What happened?" She calls to Ruby Lucas, who is leaned up against a pillar, watching everything with sharp eyes.

"Locksley brought the girl with him. It's pretty obvious she's never been to one of these parties before. Probably thought she was going to the country club or something. Then he made her play as his partner. He wasn't exactly taking no for an answer. Girl couldn't sink a shot to save her life. Robin was only too happy to brand her a troll with the other two losers."

The prickle has started to burn, getting hotter with every word Ruby has spoken, every chant and taunt the crowd of drunk idiots has thrown out, and ever miniscule flinch that she catches from the girl under the table. She's so sick of Robin Locksley and Killian Jones – smug bastards, both of them – and this is like the straw that's broken the camel's back. She's finally going to do something about it.

Robin and Killian have partnered up – Smee dismissed now that he's done his part, although she's sure that if Robin's team had won, he'd be the one under the table right now – and are getting ready to take on Victor Whale and Graham Humbert. Emma slips easily through the crowd surrounding the table and slides in between Victor and Graham, her arms going around their shoulders.

"Swan!" Killian cheers, but she ignores him, focusing on Victor instead. She knows Graham will do whatever she wants.

"What would I have to do for you boys to let me play your spot right now?" She lowers her voice and bats her eyelashes, not even flinching when Whale's hand lands on her ass.

"Don't you need a partner, Swan?" He leers, squeezing his hand while his eyes are focused on her breasts. "I bet I could sink some shots for you."

It's obvious what sexual innuendo he's put behind his words and Emma laughs and leans into him. "Oh Victor, you couldn't handle sinking your shots in – I mean with – me. Now, will you remove your hand from my ass and let me play? Please?"

He lets his hand drops and steps back, glancing at first Graham and then Killian and Robin. "You owe me drinks." He says as he steps back. By now, Graham has already retreated to the sidelines, taking up the spot beside Ruby.

It's an easy enough request to fill, especially when the only time she ever sees Victor is at the Pleasure Island parties and the booze is flowing freely anyway. He's letting her off easy.

"Oh and Swan?" He leans close, speaking so that only she can hear, "Kick their asses."

Emma's smirk is triumphant when he pulls back. "Oh, I will."

"Swan!" Killian calls again. "Where's your partner, love? Do you want me to join you?"

"No, Killian. I'm going to play this one solo tonight."

"Just the way you like it, eh, Swan?" Robin taunts. "You might end up unsatisfied under the table like Regina."

Regina. So he does at least know her name. "Believe me, I'll be plenty satisfied once this game is through. But if you're worried about me, why not let me go first?"

Robin tosses the two ping pong balls at her and Emma easily catches both. "Little John, set up the table."

Robin's pledge quickly does as he's told, filling up and reracking the ten cups on each side.

"I assume," Emma says, dunking the first ball in one of her beers and then rolling it between her fingers, "that we're playing house rules?"

Killian's eyes cut down to where Regina is still sitting, stewing, and he laughs. "Oh I'd say so, love."

"Robin?" She asks.

"We can play by whatever rules you want, Swan. You're still going to lose."

Emma's eyes flash and she grins wickedly. "Just checking."

She tosses the first ball and it sinks beautifully right into the center cup. Robin's jaw drops for just a second before he laughs and picks up the cup. "Lucky shot, Swan." He raises the red Solo cup up in salute to her.

"Luck," Emma says, dunking the next ball and aiming, smirking as it too sinks into the back left cup, "has nothing to do with it. Now I believe that I get to shoot again, seeing as how I sunk both my shots."

Killian picks up the beer and he and Robin both toss the balls back with force. Emma lets them drop to the floor, grinning at their little temper tantrums before ducking down to grab them. She tosses a quick wink at Regina, who is looking at her with vague interest, before scooping up both balls and standing.

She dips the first ball and tosses it, seemingly without even aiming, toward the back right cup. A splash is heard as the ball hits the beer, knocking out that cup. Killian and Robin are both still nursing their first beers and their eyes go wide.

"It really has been fun playing with you boys." Emma drawls, taking her time as she dips the second ball down in her cup. A large crowd has gathered now, seemingly everyone in the party watching the exchange. "But I'm growing bored with this game."

"Well, if you want to quit –" Robin starts, but Emma doesn't even let him finish.

"Quit? Oh no, Locksley, I don't quit." She throws the ball, hitting the very first cup. "I win."

They both gape at her. "What – you can't – that isn't – you don't win just because you sunk four cups." Robin finally splutters.

"Circle of Death, boys." Emma tosses at them smugly, pointing to the crudely painted sign hanging on the wall. Emma hit the four cups needed to leave only the Circle of Death. It was an automatic win. "House rules. You lose. Which I guess makes both of you trolls."

The crowd erupts, their chanting ten times louder than before. Emma moves from her place at the head of the table to lean down on the other side, offering her hand to Regina.

"You are a troll no longer." She proclaims. "C'mon."

Regina looks distrustfully at the hand for a moment before clasping it and allowing Emma to help her up.

Emma's still holding her hand when she turns back to Killian and Robin. "Now get under the table and start growling, _trolls_."

She turns to go, Regina following her because she's still holding her hand and kind of pulling her along, but then stops and looks over her shoulder. "Oh, and you boys better drink up. Losers finish all the beers."

"This is bullshit, Swan!" Robin yells after her, throwing his beer at her back. It sloshes from the cup as it flies through the air, but it doesn't make it to where Emma is. "You're a fucking cheater!"

"Woah!" Comes a yell that hushes the entire crowd. August, the frat president, steps forward from the crowd. Killian drops quickly to the floor, climbing under the table and making growling noises that sound far more like whimpers than anything else.

"First of all, everyone here was witness to you agreeing to playing House Rules and everyone here watched Emma beat you, fair and square. You can't handle that – especially after you were just fine with letting your date sit under that table due to the same rules – you aren't welcome here. You got it?"

Robin frowns as he looks down, anger still written all over his face, but knowing better than to go up against the president of the frat, especially since August had been Robin's big brother when he'd pledged.

"Second," and here August gets into his face, grabbing Robin by the collar and shoving him back against the wall, "don't you ever throw a beer at or speak that way to my sister ever again, do you understand me, Locksley?"

Emma feels a large surge of love for August, who though not her brother by blood, has never abandoned her and still calls her his sister and defends her as though she is.

"I said, do you understand me?"

"Yeah." Robin grits out and August pulls him away from the wall, shoving him back in the direction of the table.

"Good. Now get under that table and start growling, troll. Little John, make sure Killian and Robin get all those beers from the table. Everyone, back to the party!"

Emma blows a quick kiss in August's direction and then starts moving again, pulling Regina along behind her. They make it out onto the front lawn before Regina pulls her hand away, the cool air seeming to snap her out of her trance.

"What do you think you are doing?"

Emma blinks and then shrugs. "Uh, getting you out from under that table and away from that douchebag."

Regina huffs, tugging her skirt back into place. "I didn't need you to play my savior. I was perfectly fine."

"You were under a table in a pencil skirt and pearls, probably sitting in puddles of beer and god knows what else." Emma says, looking over Regina now that she's not hunched under a table. "You," Emma finds herself saying as she takes in Regina's body, "are definitely not a troll. So I helped you out."

"You are worse than those ridiculous frat boys with your leering." Regina hisses.

"Seeing as how you were under there because of your date, who happens to be one of those ridiculous frat boys, I beg to differ."

"My date is none of your concern." Regina snaps. "I am none of your concern."

Emma snorts and throws her hands up in the air. "Okay, fine. I'm sorry I tried to help you. I guess you're fine with being treated like crap just because Robin's got money and is supposedly a good guy." Emma rants, moving closer into Regina's personal space. "But before your mommy dearest marries you off to him, maybe you want to clue her in on what happened here tonight. Or hell, maybe you should tell her about the last girl he dated – the one that's raising his baby off the hush money he gave her when he threw her away like yesterday's garbage."

Emma's almost to her car – it was, she thinks, a pretty great storm off – when she hears the tapping of heels on the sidewalk behind her. "How did you know my mother set up this date?"

"Please. Moms love Robin. He's the perfect all American boy for their daughters. Rich, handsome, going to a good school, family has good connections. It was an easy assumption that your parents thought you'd make a good match and set something up. Turns out I was right."

Regina doesn't have anything to say to that and Emma continues on her way. She makes it to the car and is pulling the door open when Regina's voice reaches her again. "Is that true? What you said about his last girlfriend?"

Emma nods. "It is." She doesn't say anything more, just climbs into the car and is cranking it up when the passenger side opens and Regina slides in, her nose wrinkling. Emma just looks at her.

"Would you – Robin drove us here and so I have no way to get home."

Emma smirks as she shifts the car into gear. "Thought you didn't need me to play your savior."

"I don't!" Regina denies, then reaches up and fidgets with her pearls. "I merely need a ride."

She doesn't give any directions, but Emma figures she knows at least the side of town Regina's from, so she starts driving in that direction.

"Where did you think you were going tonight?"

"The country club for dinner."

Emma can't help the laugh that escapes her. Ruby was right.

"I was actually rather excited when we showed up here." Regina admits. "Mother doesn't approve of those types of gatherings but I've always wondered – for a moment I thought that I could –"

"Let loose?" Emma offers.

"Be normal." Regina counters, looking out the window so she doesn't have to look at Emma.

"There's no such thing. But I get what you mean."

Silence settles over them and Emma still doesn't have any idea where she's going, so she just drives aimlessly, stealing glances at Regina every few seconds. She's well aware that Regina's mother would never approve of her – hell, she doesn't even think Regina approves of her really – but she can't help but be intrigued by her all the same.

"Thank you." The words are quiet, but they're solid, true. "I may not have needed you to save me, but the manner in which you did it…" Emma can see the smirk that spreads across Regina's face in the window and it makes her smile too. "Well, it was quite enjoyable."

"I was only too happy to oblige."

"Mm. I only wish –"

"What?"

Regina glances over at Emma then. "That I had been on the other side of the table, beating them." She doesn't say _with you_, but finds herself thinking it all the same. There's something about the blonde that has captured her attention, far more than Robin did before he showed his true colors.

"Really? Well, maybe it didn't happen tonight but… it could be arranged. With a little bit of practice. And the right teacher."

"Yeah?" Regina's eyes are sparkling.

"Yeah."

A real, full smile spreads across Regina's face and Emma feels all her breath leave her lungs. "Let's do it then."

Emma can't wait to get started.


End file.
